Silly girl, you're already injured!

Stupid, stupid, stupid.....didn't the lifeguard say, "Don't run, walk!" whenever en route by the pool!?

I was a lifeguard in college. I yelled those same words to all of the flippant children running around the pool and what did I do this weekend....? 

While in the North Carolina mountains last weekend with Michael, we decided to take a pre-night-night dip in the swimming pool, while it was slightly drizzling outside, warm little droplets. I'm bikini-clad and barefoot, running from the car with my swim-goggles in one hand and cap in the other. "I'm coming!" I yelled, running on tender tip-toes when KABLAMBOOM, the earth slipped away and I fell into the puddle of water on cement that attacked my knee, elbow, palm, and ankle. How dare the pavement do that to me!!! I shriek like a cat paw-stomp. Blood combining with the dirty water in the puddle. AND I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED ON THE CAMINO....

Michael chivalricly ran to my rescue, with no regard to the evil pavement, and swooped down to pick me up and he tried, he tried, and he tried again, laughing, while I wimpered, butt on the ground, body in his arms. I wasn't going anywhere. My little ass was too much to haul, so I uncrumpled myself and scoured my body for the damage. My knee. A big white, slick patch where skin used to be! Bruised. Aching. Elbow too. We wobbled back to the room and I crashed onto the bed, thinking: My Camino first aid kit is at home.

Solution: Breathe, relax, washed offending army of bacteria and pavement pieces off my knee with hotel soap, took a swig of wine for pain, and went to bed. I'm such a surgeon. Pre-WWI, lol.

Next day: Fine. Sore. Healing. Scab on it's way.

Today: I've run 8 miles on it since, and now perpetual "sleepy leg" ache and a little strain on the knee. Shit. Not good for the Camino, but let's talk about this weekend----the 1/2 Marathon that Michael and are doing. I've got 3 more days and counting to shape up and heal. Come on, knee, you can do it. I was limping a bit today. I stood in line for too long at Walmart and had to sit on the floor because my knee and upper leg was aching. Active visualization techniques: knee will be better by the race on Sunday. If not??? Should I do it anyway and jeopardize my knee-health for the Camino?

Suggestions anyone? I know what the answer is going to be, so maybe this is a rhetorical question. Rrrrrrrr.

Plumping up for the Camino

I got my body fat tested today----it was just $2 at the gym and I figured, “I spend more money on breathing than that”, so what the hell!? I need some good fat for the Camino, as pilgrims lose weight from the hyper-surplus of daily energy expended walking and hiking along the route. 

Don’t lynch me girls, but I’m trying to GAIN weight for this massive endeavor on which about I’m about to embark. Lord, give me more body fat. Give me mass, and bulk, and something to hold my backpack up----some junk in the trunk, as my trunk is a bit empty right now! Fill it up!

Scott, athletic center dude, asked me my weight (which I didn’t know---sorry Scott, not all girls have scales), height, and age and I had to stand like Shera the Universe Warrior, arms outstretched, gripping a small plastic and metal machine into the sky, while standing like cement, tense, still, solid and hold, keep holding.....(interject crickets chirping for 30 seconds) and the prognosis is: 15%!

15% body fat.. That’s loads, right? Or too little? I have no clue what normal, loads, or a paucity of body fat is. Deer in the headlights. I look at Scott and he has no clue either. The blind leading the blind. I turn to leave the fat-detection area and mumble, “Okay, I’m going swimming now”, as Scott chimes with a whirl and pearly whites as if to make up for his lack of pertinent information, “....you look good though!”

I didn’t know what I was looking for, but I remember that in high school we were pinched and prodded in Health or Gym Class, as our body fat was calculated by pliers and an abacus. What was my body fat percentage then? Damn, I can’t remember! What’s the point? I have absolutely nothing to compare myself to! 

Finally, I did what any uber-curious, weight-wondering, oblivious gal would do---Google my 15% body fat percentage. Jesus! Excuse my name-in-vain-usage, Christ! Normal is 21-25%, so already I’m ABNORMAL. Physically fit is 17-21%. I’m not fit enough!? And, lastly, athletic is 14-17%. Anything below that range is simply essential fat to sustain life....I’m borderline skinny she-male here and aspiring to sustain my own life during the Camino. Need more fat!

Damn! I swear I’ve been eating organic power bars, Mexican food, and Klondike bars for the past month. I’ve really been shoveling it in. I thought that I’d have packed on a little more poundage, but my efforts must have been thwarted by my triathlon training. It burns away everything I’ve worked so hard on. I know what you’re thinking. Poor you, you skinny #*&^! Yes, poor me! 

NEED FAT! 

If you would like to donate to the “donate fat to Me” charity, please do so. I will assemble an aspiration tube from any part of your body to my empty trunk and we’ll take it from there. Please. At least donate a Twinkie----just kidding, I’m healthier than that----I mean a funnel cake or two, with a side of Twix and Butterfinger.

Pre-camino Brain Cramps and Glowing Light

I went to court today to accompany a famly friend who couldn't defend herself against an aggrevated elder family member who is greedy, selfish, and to my accounts, a heartless sociopath who'd rather squeeze blood out of a rock than speak with kind words and love to those who ache to be cared about by him.

You know who you are, Cowardly Lion!

I returned home to contemplate the pervasivenss of Greed in this world--anonimity--pain--anger--loneliness--motives--or lack of motivation. I have a heavy, granite boulder weighing my already heavy noggin down to the ground. But, I can't look down.....I must look up.

I should value what I do have. Family, friends, safety, nature, full-mobility of body and limbs, chocolate, and a peering light, a freckle of light squeezing itself out at me from the End of the Camino. 

I hope to find balance in all respects. And balance so I don't fall flat on my butt. I hope to sense a cool, comfortable wave of easing into Peace and Understanding something, more than myself---of which, I'm not quite there either!

Wait and see. Looking forward and up!

Note to self: Watch out for the birds relieving themselves above :)

The Dreadful Packing List, made easier

First rule of thumb:

Don’t carry anything you can’t part with. Secondly, especially for women, don’t pack more than 10% of your body weight. Our natural tendency as pack-rat humans is to pack anything and everything that we may or may not need, but this time, you’re carrying all of that crap on your back!!! So less is more. Finally: No cotton. It’s heavy when wet, chafes your skin, and takes forever to dry! Also, try Walmart and TJ Maxx before sports and outdoors stores, as you’ll find yourself saving a ton of money. Make sure you try it in the store before ordering anything online, unless it’s REI---to be explained later.

Note: My list is slightly more helpful to Americans, as we have to prepare prior to arriving in Europe----and we, in many cases, have to purchase brands available to us, and I can also provide some key chain stores to access. I’ve also provided a little extra packing advice for women.

The Top 3 Big Guys-----Backpack, Sleeping Bag, and Footwear

Backpack: Try to buy an ultra-light weight with a suspended mesh back that has a sprung steel frame to keep the pack off your back---this allows your back to breathe so you don’t overheat and sweat your brains out. 

Women: I suggest a Gregory Jade 35 (35L) pack (about 1.8 lbs) made especially for women. This may not seem important, but we have boobs, an hour-glass figure, and a smaller neck----so I HIGHLY suggest asking your “educated” sports store attendant about Women’s packs with a proper fitting---and don’t buy anything off of the internet before trying it on, weighted, in the store first. 

Men: Any similar pack 40-50L, depending on your size and weight.

Sleeping Bag: Some prefer to just pack a sleeping bag liner, though I’m walking in the Fall / Autumn and need a bit more warmth, without the weight. One word: LAFUMA. http://www.lafumagear.com/

Never heard of this brand? Neither did ..until I did extensive research on comfort, weight, and function. I suggest the Warm N’ Light 600g Down 40 degree mummy bag. It literally rolls up into a small cyclindrical ball about 8” long and 5” wide. Perfect!!! You don’t really need to try it out in a store, but since I was there, the sales clerk let me unroll it on the floor and roll around inside it with my shoes off like a disoriented caterpillar in front of wryly giddy fellow New Yorkers at (thank you) Paragon Sports (http://www.paragonsports.com/).

Hiking Boots/ Shoes: Some prefer boots, for more ankle protection and some prefer hiking shoes for less weight and fewer blisters (less surface area to create blisters on your bending ankle area). I chose Columbia hiking shoes, about the same weight as heavier running shoes. As a woman, boots can get heavy! But, it’s your choice—you’re going to be living in them for a month, rain or shine. Gortex is nice and waterproofing is key.

The Rest of the Essentials, nothing more

* Wax Earplugs: needed for the snorers in the refugios. You need sleep to walk!

* Ziplock bags and a trash bag to protect your things from rain or spillage 

* Swiss Army Knife: Victorinox is quality and cheap, credit card style is lightest---w/ scissors, knife, tweezers, tooth pick, red LED light, ocular, and ruler---at Target

* 2 pairs of underwear: anything around 90% nylon and 10% lycra, as is comfy and dries in about an hour (TJ Maxx or sports store)

* 2 pairs of socks: your choice, try light-weight wicking plus extra liners by Wigwam or Under Armour brand (at Sports Authority or Dick’s Sporting Goods)

* 1 pair of convertible hiking pants: nylon, usually North Face, REI, or Columbia—in my preferential order of fit and function.

* 1 sleeveless nylon wicking t-shirt

* 1 hiking shirt: breathable and nylon 

* Walking poles: can be bought at Walmart, but lighter ones are in specialty outdoors shops

* Hat: must have, wide-brimmed, ventilated, Nylon suggested as waterproof, and with drawstrings to cinch to your head, in case of wind

* Sunglasses and silky carrying bag (protecting your protection!)

* Bandana: can be used for many things, and now they sell a soft, UV protection breathable headwear that can be used as a scarf, headband, ponytail holder, skull-cap, etc. Wicking, as well. Try Buff brand, www.buff.eu , sold at American specialty sports stores.

* 2 Water bottles: Platypus water-bags, weighs nothing (http://www.sunnysports.com/prod/PPSR.html?ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=PPSR1)

* Camelback hydration system for your backpack (Walmart or sports store)

* (2) SPF 15 lip balm

* Sunscreen

* Plastic spork (Walmart)

* Collapsable drinking cup (Target)

* Travel tooth brush, travel tooth paste, dental floss---you can buy more on the Camino

* Camping soap, detergent, and shampoo petals (camping store)

* Nylon cord: for wrapping, tying, or binding anything

* Safety pins: for pinning wet items on your backpack to dry

* Sports towel: quick-dry from outdoor store, Dick’s Sports, light-weight

* Small head-lamp and lighted keychain, light is your friend! (Walmart)

* Mini-Kleenex travel pack (any store)

* Needle and thread

* Nail clippers

First Aid: Moleskin, waterproof blister bandaids, medical tape, tums, Imodium pill, aspirin, encapsulated electrolytes (Hammer brand), antiseptic wipes, and worse comes to worst----PM Tylenol, to knock you out and guarantee a good night’s sleep.

Extras that Help Loads

* Rain poncho, and it will rain

* Wind-proof, waterproof, breathable jacket/ shell

* (Optional) Waterproof thin pants

* (1) Tight, nylon, wicking long-sleeved shirt for those cold moments that you’d rather be in a coma than shivering, rigid, and a popsicle (Under Armour at Sports Authority)

* (1) Pair of nylon running pants----tight to keep the warmth in, dries quickly and prevents chafing

* (1) Warm-weather light long-sleeve nylon shirt

* Hooded, thin, micro-fleece jacket (North Face does this best---Sports Authority)

* Compact digital camera that takes AA batteries, so no charger, but use LITHIUM batteries to increase battery life by 300% (suggestion: Canon A480, about $100)

* Cellphone----only if you REALLY need it, but if not, NOOO. Buy a calling card.

* Ipod----only for use during down time, nobody uses it while walking, as it takes away from the experience and isolates you from fellow travelers

* Light-weight power bars, or snack bars for quick breakfasts (suggestions: Wings of Nature trail bars, http://www.freshharvestproducts.com/products_snacks.htm) 

* PASSPORT

* Camino Guide Book

* Moneybelt---for exploring the city after dropping your pack at the refugio

* Camp Shoes: Light-weight and comfy, (Crocs or generic Crocs at Walmart)

* Journal: Small, withplastic spirals to decrease weight (Farm Fresh or any store)

* 2 small pens

For Women
* 1 pair of cotton undies to alternate----avoids moisture and yeast infections
* 1-2 antibiotic pills in case of the horrific Urinary Tract Infection
* Tampons without applicators, in a Ziploc bag
* A sports bra or two, nylon
* An ultra-thin “pashmina” for use when wearing a tank top or sports bra, to protect from chafing around the neck area from the backpack. Can be used in other creative capacities! (Walmart, TJ Maxx, Marshalls)

Special Thanks to www.rei.com, as they have such an extensive online range of Camino-friendly gear, helpful and knowledgeable customer service reps, and an unlimited, timeless return policy. They even pre-print a sticker with their return address on it for you to stick and mail. Just say YES to REI!!!!